This New Year, Allow Yourself to Feel Empowered

Good afternoon, Dear Readers. For those keeping up, today is Day 214 in NYC. It is also New Year’s Eve, my first in the Big Apple.

Since you last saw me, I had just nabbed a new job at Housing Works. Five weeks later, I still love what I do. I’ve had the opportunity to connect a lot of people with healthcare services — the kind that can determine whether someone gets housing in certain instances. All in all, I have grown so much since starting this job. I’ve been in contact with people who have lost everything, feeling banished to a life in shelters without a willing ear to listen to them.

One guy literally came to New York to pursue a theatrical career. Unfortunately, Covid derailed all opportunities in that area right around the time this gentleman arrived in the city. Without a steady income, this man — who has a Bachelor’s degree — was forced to live in a homeless shelter — and he’s still there to this day. When I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he said, “A job. That’s all.”

Another gentleman told me he was tired of all the talking. He said, “All you ever do is talk. I need action.” I sincerely wished I had the power to make a call and plop these guys down into an apartment on the same day. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. There are multiple channels to go through, and sometimes, a client can go through all the proper channels and still not receive a home after the process. For some, this has been the case so many times. That’s why they feel so powerless. They’ve tried over and over to get out of their present situation, but for some reason, it just doesn’t fall right for them.

That’s why I’ve started celebrating the small victories, telling myself that just because I can’t automatically make all of a client’s problems disappear overnight, I can still help make their situation a little less dire. That’s all I can do, and to get frustrated at myself for not being able to do more would draw away the same energy that could be the tipping point of change for a client in a particular situation. So, Housing Works, thank you for teaching me that lesson.

In regards to my own housing situation, I’ve moved out of my first NYC apartment, into a neighborhood I feel extremely blessed to call home. It’s my first full day in the new place, and I’ve already partaken of food and plenty of caffeine in not one, but two coffee shops — both of which had their own unique personalities.

I feel like everything is falling into place right before the New Year. I have a job that I love, I live in a charming NYC neighborhood, and (though I’m not getting laid as often as I’d like) I’ve still had sexual triumphs this year. When I got here, I planned to pursue life, liberty, and mind-blowing sex. After being here for over 7 months, I feel like I’ve hit that target. Of course, I plan to outdo myself in the coming months, but for now, I am at peace with my efforts. After all, I moved to NYC in the middle of a pandemic, to pursue writing and to pursue a better life for myself. How much more badass does it get?

If you’re sitting there, wondering if you could make this happen for yourself, you can. Maybe it isn’t moving to a fabulous city like NYC. Maybe it’s just asking out that really hot guy at the office who’s been eyeing you for the last couple of weeks. Maybe it’s pursuing horseback riding or an adult ballet class. Maybe it’s trying out a new sex position in the bedroom. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to be empowered (I know. Easier said than done.) But I’m here to tell you, it can be done. If you had told me I would be living in NYC this time last year, I probably would have laughed. But now, I’m so glad I took that leap of faith, even though I wasn’t sure how it was all going to work out.

That’s my hope for everyone’s New Year — that you allow yourself to feel empowered in all aspects of life. Because when you do, magic happens. So, take that step.

Until next time, girls and gays. Kisses. And Happy New Year!




Hailing from Manhattan, C.F. Turner is a realistic fiction author and blogger of all things sex-related.

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Hailing from Manhattan, C.F. Turner is a realistic fiction author and blogger of all things sex-related.

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