I’ve almost been here for two weeks, and I already feel like I’m a different person. It’s not a bad thing. I just feel energized by the goings-on of the city — breathing in the air of another place, with its own ideas and diversity of opinions.
More than anything, I am inspired by the people — their tenacity, their grit, their never-wavering commitment to survival in a place where survival seems almost impossible. If one allows the city to swallow them, they may not survive. But if one learns to work in tandem with the city, that’s another deal. One can have almost nothing and still get by should the city-goer simply let go and let be. Then help comes from the most unlikely of places — an older subway rider who might seem disgruntled but who is eager to lend a helping hand should someone simply reach out.
That’s the thing I’ve noticed. NYC and New Yorkers seem to have this reputation on the outside for being cold and exclusive, only looking out for their own. But I have found the opposite. More than once, I have been helped by those who know nothing about me, who have not an inkling of investment in my journey. But still, they help.
That isn’t to say that New York City can’t be scary, because it can. A couple of times I have found myself more than 45 minutes away from home, late at night, when subways decide to take the same hiatus at the worst possible time (I’ve been told a mutual hatred of the MTA is shared among all New Yorkers. Now I see why that is the case). Those are the times when one is tested: Will you take a chance and walk in the dark, hoping that fortune lights the way home, or will you try to find some other source of transportation?
Tests. I’ve had plenty of them already, just in the last couple of weeks. But every time, I’ve made it out on the other side, and I feel so much more confident in my abilities as a fully functioning adult.
Another thing I’ve learned about myself is that I can do anything my heart desires. A year ago today, I never would have guessed I would be in New York City, alone, around brand-new people and settings. But I’ve done it. A recent conversation with a friend brought to light how powerful an individual can be simply if they believe their dreams will come true.
I realize that my privilege as a white man in America sets me up in ways that other Americans don’t have the luxury. But unlike some, I took a chance on my dream, moving somewhere while wondering how everything would pan out. I took a leap of faith, knowing that my dream will also come true. I just have to put the work in, just like you, Dear Reader.
I’ve changed, but this is only the beginning. Until next time.
